Val has arranged for internment of Mom's ashes on Friday, September 17, 2010 at 2:30 p.m. at Oakview Cemetary in Royal Oak, Section K (to the left of the pond as you enter). Let Val or Dave or me know if you would like to attend. We plan to have a small get together afterwards either at Pete's Broadway Cafe in Ferndale (Woodward Heights West of Hilton) or another suitable location.
Attending for sure will be Val, David, Byron & Colleen, Rev. Miller, Maggie and Rob Robbins, and Patricia Kuxhaus.
If you missed it, Byron has Ruth's old phone number.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Consoled
We are all pretty pooped out from the whirlwind of the last few days, but consoled by the outpouring of sympathy from so many at the funeral home visitation Tuesday evening and Wednesday's service.. Mom affected so many lives in ways we never knew, and it was heartening to hear stories about her from those present. She was quite a gal.
More proper thank yous will be forthcoming, but I would like to acknowledge those who made the last few days tolerable and the service so meaningful. Besides Rev. Miller, the soloist Marlene Plum and organist Melissa Ambrose-Eidson, we want to express a special thanks to the ladies of the Mary Martha Circle, of which Mom was a member practically since she joined the church in the 1940s. The luncheon they put on was wonderful on many levels. Additionally, John Wilk from Wessels & Wilk Funeral Home provided invaluable assistance, the beverages and snacks Colleen's family brought during the visitation were greatly appreciated. The outpouring of sympathy and caring has been just remarkable.
We plan to eventually scan the photos from the picture boards and put them up on this site, as well as the audio of the service, so we're not done with this blog by any means. We encourage those of you who have "Ruth stories" to consider sharing them with us here. As we've learned the last few days, there is a lot more to our Mom than we ever realized!
More proper thank yous will be forthcoming, but I would like to acknowledge those who made the last few days tolerable and the service so meaningful. Besides Rev. Miller, the soloist Marlene Plum and organist Melissa Ambrose-Eidson, we want to express a special thanks to the ladies of the Mary Martha Circle, of which Mom was a member practically since she joined the church in the 1940s. The luncheon they put on was wonderful on many levels. Additionally, John Wilk from Wessels & Wilk Funeral Home provided invaluable assistance, the beverages and snacks Colleen's family brought during the visitation were greatly appreciated. The outpouring of sympathy and caring has been just remarkable.
We plan to eventually scan the photos from the picture boards and put them up on this site, as well as the audio of the service, so we're not done with this blog by any means. We encourage those of you who have "Ruth stories" to consider sharing them with us here. As we've learned the last few days, there is a lot more to our Mom than we ever realized!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Details
We'll be receiving visitors at the Wessels & Wilk Funeral Home Tuesday, June 29 from 3 to 8 p.m. Click here for a map. The service at the First Congregational Church of Royal Oak begins at 11 a.m. Wednesday, June 30 and will be followed by a light lunch. A map to the church can be accessed by clicking here.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email us and we'll get back with you as soon as possible (sorry, no phone numbers are going up on the web!).
I had been staying with Mom at night since she was admitted to the hospital on Thursday, and Dave, Byron and Colleen were there during the day. She was still relatively lucid and responsive early Saturday, and we reminisced about all sorts of random things as the sun came up -- the old Westinghouse refrigerator we had that ended up at Rose and Sam's cottage, going to the Royal Oak Farmers' Market every Saturday morning before the crack of dawn, Byron making popcorn as we watched Saturday Night at the Movies, Sunday drives, her parents, her grandchildren ... it was truly a gift to have those tender moments with her.
It was heart wrenching to watch as she and her life-long best friend, Priscilla, visited on Saturday, both knowing it was the last time they'd be together. Lots of tears were shed all around. These two women were so different yet had a friendship that endured through good and bad times. They used to joke about who would go first. Well, now we know.
Dave arrived Sunday morning just as the doctor was making his rounds, and he advised us that it looked like she would not be around for more than 48 hours. I made a quick trip to Grand Rapids (no speeding tickets), and during the seven hours I was away, her condition had eroded significantly. As nighttime fell she became quieter and quieter.Shortly after midnight she took her last breath, and the nurse confirmed what I thought: she was gone.
Byron and Dave quickly returned to the hospital. We said our goodbyes and thanks to this amazing woman. There were many times she was a royal pain in the neck (and other places), and her Polish stubbornness was legendary, but she also was a loving person who always saw what needed to be done and did it, up until the very end.What a gal!
If you have any questions, please feel free to email us and we'll get back with you as soon as possible (sorry, no phone numbers are going up on the web!).
I had been staying with Mom at night since she was admitted to the hospital on Thursday, and Dave, Byron and Colleen were there during the day. She was still relatively lucid and responsive early Saturday, and we reminisced about all sorts of random things as the sun came up -- the old Westinghouse refrigerator we had that ended up at Rose and Sam's cottage, going to the Royal Oak Farmers' Market every Saturday morning before the crack of dawn, Byron making popcorn as we watched Saturday Night at the Movies, Sunday drives, her parents, her grandchildren ... it was truly a gift to have those tender moments with her.
It was heart wrenching to watch as she and her life-long best friend, Priscilla, visited on Saturday, both knowing it was the last time they'd be together. Lots of tears were shed all around. These two women were so different yet had a friendship that endured through good and bad times. They used to joke about who would go first. Well, now we know.
Dave arrived Sunday morning just as the doctor was making his rounds, and he advised us that it looked like she would not be around for more than 48 hours. I made a quick trip to Grand Rapids (no speeding tickets), and during the seven hours I was away, her condition had eroded significantly. As nighttime fell she became quieter and quieter.Shortly after midnight she took her last breath, and the nurse confirmed what I thought: she was gone.
Byron and Dave quickly returned to the hospital. We said our goodbyes and thanks to this amazing woman. There were many times she was a royal pain in the neck (and other places), and her Polish stubbornness was legendary, but she also was a loving person who always saw what needed to be done and did it, up until the very end.What a gal!
She's at peace
Ruth Esther Kuxhaus, 91, of Oak Park died peacefully surrounded by family on June 28. Born in Detroit on May 31, 1919, she was the oldest child of Chester and Viola Kotowski. She grew up in Pleasant Ridge and graduated from Lincoln High School in Ferndale. For many years she managed several RB Shops, and later worked at Jacobson's in Birmingham. Generous, never complaining, Ruth was happiest in the company of family and friends. She showed great strength and bravery in recent years as she battled a series of difficult afflictions. A greatly loved mother, grandmother, friend, and aunt, she will be greatly missed.
Preceding her in death were her husband, Otto Kuxhaus; brother, Benjamin Kotowski; sisters Rose Tuma and Doris Steinberg. She is survived by her brother Arthur (Nancy) Kotowski, Newburg, OH; her children, Byron (Colleen) Kuxhaus, Royal Oak; David Kuxhaus, Ashland, KY; and Valeria Long, Grand Rapids; grandchildren Robert (Rebekah Winters) Long and Justin Kuxhaus, Seattle; Margaret Long, Oakland, CA; Laurel Kuxhaus, PhD Potsdam, NY; her life-long friend Priscilla Krippendorf; and many beloved nieces and nephews.
The family would like to thank the staff of Heartland and Beaumont Hospices and Hannah's Home Care for their care and compassion during Ruth's last weeks. Visitation at Wessel and Wilk Funeral Home, 23690 Woodward Ave., Pleasant Ridge, from 3 to 8 p.m. June 29. Memorial service June 30 at 11 a.m. at First Congregational Church, 1314 Northwood Blvd., Royal Oak. Memorial contributions may be made to the church.
Preceding her in death were her husband, Otto Kuxhaus; brother, Benjamin Kotowski; sisters Rose Tuma and Doris Steinberg. She is survived by her brother Arthur (Nancy) Kotowski, Newburg, OH; her children, Byron (Colleen) Kuxhaus, Royal Oak; David Kuxhaus, Ashland, KY; and Valeria Long, Grand Rapids; grandchildren Robert (Rebekah Winters) Long and Justin Kuxhaus, Seattle; Margaret Long, Oakland, CA; Laurel Kuxhaus, PhD Potsdam, NY; her life-long friend Priscilla Krippendorf; and many beloved nieces and nephews.
The family would like to thank the staff of Heartland and Beaumont Hospices and Hannah's Home Care for their care and compassion during Ruth's last weeks. Visitation at Wessel and Wilk Funeral Home, 23690 Woodward Ave., Pleasant Ridge, from 3 to 8 p.m. June 29. Memorial service June 30 at 11 a.m. at First Congregational Church, 1314 Northwood Blvd., Royal Oak. Memorial contributions may be made to the church.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Not good news
I neglected to include in the earlier post that in addition to the sigmoid volvulus, Mom has a bowel obstruction. That's what contributed to the excruciating pain and vomiting on Thursday. Given Mom's greatly weakened health, medical history, and age, the gastroenterologist felt she was an extremely poor surgical risk and would likely not survive surgery to remove the blockage and volvulus and recommended against it. Other physicans concurred. We -- Mom, Byron, Dave, and me -- sadly agreed that she has been through enough, and reluctantly have accepted that this will be the cause of her demise.
Mom is now an inpatient with Beaumont Hospital's Hospice, where she is receiving intensive palliative care. Her attending physician feels it is highly unlikely that she would reach the two week maximum stay for that unit.She is being kept comfortable with regular administrations of dilaudid, so is drowsy much of the time but manages to rally when she has visitors and as we have learned, hears everything!
As we face this passage, we are heartened by the support we are receiving from family and friends. We appreciate you keeping Mom and us in your hearts and prayers, and hope that you find comfort, as we do, that she is at peace..
Mom is now an inpatient with Beaumont Hospital's Hospice, where she is receiving intensive palliative care. Her attending physician feels it is highly unlikely that she would reach the two week maximum stay for that unit.She is being kept comfortable with regular administrations of dilaudid, so is drowsy much of the time but manages to rally when she has visitors and as we have learned, hears everything!
As we face this passage, we are heartened by the support we are receiving from family and friends. We appreciate you keeping Mom and us in your hearts and prayers, and hope that you find comfort, as we do, that she is at peace..
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