Busy Tuesday

Another busy Tuesday for our gal Ruth. Before we even left for her appointment with Dr. Weissman, she had physical therapy at home.Tanya came along to her visit with Dr. Weissman. He reviewed and reduced the number of medications she needs to take, and commended her on her positive attitude (she was fairly upbeat). She weighed in at 103 pounds, fully clothed.

Since it was around noon by the time we got done, we decided to go out to lunch at the Olga's Kitchen on 12 Mile and Southfield. Advice to any who may dine there: avoid the waiter named Jon. Following our rather strange meal, I suggested that since we were so close to Priscilla's house that we drop by. Mom managed to get up the steps into Priscilla's house, where she was having physical therapy. It was rather poignant to listen to their conversations. Here they were, these two young women who suddenly (to them) became old and frail.


They said their goodbyes and we returned to Meadowlark. Mom was adamant about making the cookies that they didn't get to on Monday, but it wasn't even five minutes after she sat in her chair that she dozed off. No cookie baking on Tuesday. Maybe they got to it today.

This coming weekend Kim will be staying with Mom. Next Tuesday is another trip to the wound clinic. We certainly know how to have fun!

The second weekend

It's been a quiet weekend thus far at Meadowlark. Mom's new Sizewise mattress came yesterday, and she slept so comfortably that she didn't get up until 9 a.m. Saturday. She's had some phone calls and an early afternoon visit from Byron while I was running errands. We had a late lunch and now she's taking a nap.

She continues to be frustrated and upset that she has physical limitations that prevent her from doing what she wants to do. That, plus her tendency to perseverate about some things that she has no control over gets her riled up. She's more guarded around Tanya and Kim (the new weekend caregiver) and they don't see this side of her. Which is probably a good thing. Today she was able to make her own oatmeal and dry dishes, but decided to postpone a project we talked about tackling this weekend.

Last week had some definite high points, though. Besides Art and Nancy's visit, a long time friend Bob Kennedy was in town from Chico, CA, and he and his sister Margaret came by to visit. Bob is no longer ambulatory, so he wasn't able to leave Margaret's car. The weather that day was perfect, making it possible for Mom to go outside and sit in the car and visit with him there. They had a wonderful time reminiscing, and Tanya thoughtfully brought tea and cookies for them to enjoy. And of course there were regular visits from Colleen, who brought Chinese one evening.

The week ahead brings a trip to Dr. Weissman, Mom's internist, who she hasn't seen since well before everything began to happen in November. We're hoping he can review the meds she's on and perhaps have her cut back on some of them.

Oh, the baby monitor tells me that nap time is over. Time to get back moving and help Mom "do her thing."

The first week at home

Mom had a busy Tuesday. In the morning the physical therapist came by, followed by an early afternoon visit to the wound clinic, which was the first time she left the house since coming home last week. Shortly after returning from the appointment, Mom's brother and sister-in-law Art and Nancy arrived for a visit. Mom was happy to see them, although she had to cut Tuesday's visit short to take a nap. Fortunately they're staying over and will see her again on Wednesday.

Mom's first week at home has had its ups and downs. She likes being home, but is too frail to do what she likes to do, which is to putz around and keep house. She's frustrated that she is lacking "pep." Tanya, who's with her Monday through Thursday, has been working to establish a routine. Unfortunately the  caregiver last weekend wasn't anywhere as competent as Tanya and the routine disintegrated. (That caregiver won't be back.) I'll be staying with her this weekend with hopes to keep the routine together and get her to eat more.

Receiving visitors and cards brings her great joy. Last weeks'  visitors brightened her days, and she was delighted to get a note from granddaughter Laurel. A note of caution to visitors, though: she's keeping the house at near sauna temperatures as she's always cold, so dress accordingly.

Mom At Home

Mom continues to adjust to being home. Much of the activity has stopped, OT, PT, and nurse have been here, evaluations completed and schedules established. Her former PT Ricky will be resuming his activities next week and she's looking forward to that.

She has enjoyed her companion Tanya this week, they have bonded slowly, but are getting along. They sorted out all the teacups this evening, matching cups and saucers and Tanya received one she expressed a liking for. She'll be leaving Friday morning when Phyllis, the weekend provider arrives and will return Monday morning for another fun filled week.

Mom has been sleeping late and not taking a nap during the day. She's been enjoying the visitors and phone calls and talking a lot about her life. She's still not sure about the cable TV, but is accepting it.

We've had a good visit and it will be difficult when I leave, on both of us, but she knows I'll be back in May for a while and has that to look forward to. She's also looking forward to seeing Val this weekend and visits from Byron and Colleen.

Not much more to report today. Stay tuned for further updates. Thanks

Home at last

Monday morning the bed, mattress and other equipment arrived from hospice, as planned. Monday afternoon Mom met with a hospice social worker again about becoming one of their patients, and after a 3-1/2 hour conversation, signatures and forms were completed. We figured all was well, but I should know better. Monday evening the hospice nurse called, apologetically telling me that they were mistaken; upon closer examination, at this time Mom is not a candidate for hospice care. They had thought she would qualify because of the need for pain control, but her wound by itself is not a terminal condition.

Nevertheless Mom returned to Meadowlark Tuesday morning after making her good byes to staff and friends at Heartland. She was sent home with her medications, supplies for wound care and best wishes. I discussed the equipment situation with the Heartland social worker, thinking an administrative event could take place and not disrupt what was in place. I should know better than to think!

Once home she was greeted by Tanya, the caregiver from Hanna's Home Health, who will be staying with Mom Monday through Thursday; another caregiver, Phyllis, will stay Friday through Sunday. I left Tanya and Mom alone so they could get acquainted. The topic of food came up and I made a run for corned beef, chicken noodle soup and fries from the Bread Basket. When I returned, her first visitor was drinking tea and eating cookies. Jean brought some flowers from the church altar on Easter and left with her teacup after telling Mom how she liked it. I proceeded to make several telephone calls with medical equipment companies, resulting in arrangements for the removal of the hospice equipment and delivery of replacements by Beaumont Home Health on Wednesday.

After taking a much deserved, long nap, Mom and Tanya discussed dinner options and I went out to spend some time with friends. Sometime during the afternoon her telephone quit working so when I got home and determined the problem was outside my realm of expertise, I went online and placed a trouble ticket through AT&T's automated system. I was informed that the problem would be resolved by 8:00 p.m. Thursday, which didn't sit well, but Mom wasn't worried.

Mom slept until almost 10 a.m. Wednesday and woke up feeling cold. After getting cleaned up, having Tanya clean her wound and eating breakfast I reminded her that her bed was going to be picked up and a new one delivered. "Whatever," was the response. I also explained the problem with the phone and received the same response.

The equipment hospice delivered on Monday was removed Wednesday morning, the room vacuumed and made ready for the new equipment. AT&T repaired the problem with the phone, the Heartland Home Health nurse came by and Beaumont delivered their equipment. OT came by, PT called for tomorrow and all is well at 23110 Meadowlark.

Needless to say all the changes and activity has been a little overwhelming for Mom. She's dealt with it all with her usual aplomb and we talked about now that things are settling down, she'll be able to develop a pattern of living that works for her. Tanya helps her as much as necessary but allows Mom to do what she can. So far she hasn't been cooking, but I think that may change in a week or so as she regains some confidence. She has had several calls this afternoon, is enjoying being home, and getting comfortable with Tanya. Giving them space is difficult for me, but necessary. I hope to leave Friday even though I know Mom would prefer I stayed, but Byron & Colleen will be coming by, Val will be down again this weekend and hopefully other family members, friends and neighbors will stop by often.

Throughout all that she has gone through Mom's attitude remains positive and hopeful. She's where she wants to be. What a trooper!

Getting ready for Tuesday

We've had a busy week. Last Tuesday brought the every-other-week visit to the wound clinic. Mom's wound is looking  better, but as it was explained before, because of the severity of the radiation damage it will never completely heal. Call it medical semantics or what have you, we were told a stage IV wound remains a stage IV wound; it may resolve somewhat, but it will not become a stage III.

With that knowledge and weighing the options for bringing Mom home, the social worker at Heartland suggested we consider hospice. Mom and Dave met with hospice representatives, and Mom has decided that at this point, having hospice would be the best course of action to take. Hospice will help with coordinating the medical piece of in-home care and pain management. This also defines what path we will be taking with future medical decisions. Right now we are planning on having a caregiver with her 24/7, at least until we get a handle on how things are progressing and what she's capable and comfortable with.

In anticipation of Mom's return on Tuesday, there was a flurry of activity at Meadowlark this past weekend. Cable TV (yes, she did not have cable) and wireless internet were installed, the many layers of wax were stripped from the kitchen floor so the carpet adhesive would stick, a new twin bed for the little bedroom (aka Val's room) arrived, the carpeting was laid, a new stove was delivered, Mom's room thoroughly cleaned (which didn't take much, as everyone knows Mom is the queen of clean), the refrigerator stocked with basics, and a bunch of other things.

The rationale for the cable was so Mom and her caregivers would have some more viewing options, and the internet for us and the caregivers. Mom's kitchen floor was in bad shape and we decided carpeting would be a good option, providing a smooth surface for a walker or wheel chair and also lend some warmth. Her 30+ year old range was ailing and unreliable, so we replaced it. Same was true for the twin bed in the little bedroom, and since that's where her caregivers will sleep, we felt it best they be able to get a good night's sleep while they're there. Mom's bed got moved upstairs (the "boys' room") and a hospital bed will arrive for her on Monday.

Dave interviewed some home care agencies recommended by the geriactric case manager and has another to interview Monday. Mom is a favorite of many of the Heartland CNAs, and several offered their services for home care on a cash basis. While we're appreciative of their offers, we felt it best to go through an agency to insure there is backup and also to have bonded and screened people. We are also considering one agency we hired last spring before she broke her hip.

If all continues to fall in place, Mom should be sleeping under her own roof Tuesday night and be able to enjoy her magnolia tree, which is ready to blossom any day now.